Thursday, October 20, 2011

Late Night Radio

When Ry turned two months last month, we transitioned him to his crib.  Our nightly ritual is the same.  All three kids go to bed around the same time.  Bob takes the two girls and I take the baby.  We all troop upstairs together between 7:15 and 7:30 pm.

Bath time, jammie time, story time, hug and kiss time, and then at last it is bed time.

The only piece of electronics in the kids' rooms is a radio.  Every night that is the last thing that gets dealt with before the lights go out.  We put their radios on.  Ironically, its the same station that plays in both rooms. That was accidental. It was the only station we could get clearly in the girls' room that didn't play rap or a lot of upbeat dance music which I didn't think was good nighttime music especially since Emmy and Maddie like to dance.  I pictured them dancing around the room that they've started sharing in recent months.  Whatever Emmy does, Maddie does to.  It is really the only station that comes in in Ry's room.  The second night Ry slept in his room, I noticed it was the same station playing in both rooms.

What do they listen to?  A syndicated radio show with Delilah.  She plays love songs and soft contemporary rock-the perfect music to fall asleep to in my opinion.

Since I sit in the rocker and nurse Ry before putting him in his crib for the night, I have actually started listening to the radio and not just tuning it out as background noise.  I've started looking forward to this quiet time.

Each night once the girls are in bed, I sit in the rocker listening to Delilah choosing the perfect song for the dedications of callers who are looking for a song to say what is in their heart or answering a listeners letter as they ask for advice or help.  As I listen to her giving advice, I wonder where does that kind of wisdom come from?  It seems she always has the perfect answer. 

Is it age? Life experience?  Personality and an inner ability to empathize?  I am in my 30's with three young kids and I still feel so young and inexperienced in so many ways.

My husband was joking the other day that we're really not that young any more.  He's right.  Middle age is shortly upon us. Yet, I don't feel older, wiser, or more experienced.

How do you find the right words when your children come to you with their growing pains?  You can't say "hold on a minute, let me ask someone else" or "let me google that".  What do you say when your child is the one left out, or when they get their heart broken, or heaven forbid, they face tragedy like the loss of a friend?  What do you say when they start asking the "hard" questions?  What do you say to help make it better?

And I thought Emmy and Madison's "why?" stage was tough.  It will get tougher, I am realizing.

Those "what to say worries" kept me up last night.  How do you find the right words? 

I know I can listen.  I can be there.  I can let them know I love them.  Maybe I can play devil's advocate, maybe I can see where they are coming from based on my own experiences, maybe, maybe, maybe...

I'm sure I will probably say the wrong thing more often than not. Will me letting them know I love them more than anything else in this world, be enough?

I'm sure I will be be going through my own growing pains as a mom just as they are going through their growing pains as teens and young adults.

*After I hit publish, I realized 8 pm is not late for most people but since I became a mom, my bedtime is usually right after the kids' so for me it is late!


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