Monday, February 21, 2011

My Deep Dark Secret

This is what it almost feels like.

When I was first started my own blog after visiting some blogs and reading up on the blogosphere, I wanted to shout from the rooftop (okay maybe just from my window on the second floor where it was much safer) that I was officially a "blogger".

I had sent an email to family and friends and announced it on Facebook.

I learned quickly that admitting to having some weird fetish or addiction would probably have gone over with more interest and less disdain.

I was at a dinner at a swanky restaurant, for a private celebration of sorts, and somehow the conversation turned to blogging.  I had only been blogging for a short period by this time and the people seated around the table were a mix of strangers and people whom I respected. 

I sat rooted in my seat as a smartphone was whipped out and passed around of the demotivational poster on blogging.

Have you seen it?
The caption reads, "Never before have so many with so little to say said so much to so few".

After a few chuckles and some disparaging remarks about blogging and a "Joy blogs" comment (which mostly everyone already knew), I then asked if there was someplace I could discreetly nurse my infant (Madison was still only a few months old by this point). I made my way to a private room upstairs where I sat fuming over the audacity of the people below. 

What did they know?

I was embarrassed for the first time of the fact that I was a blogger.  Then I was angry that I was made to feel embarrassed.

This blog is my place. I never talk about blogging anymore-only to a few select close friends and family.  I am very protective of my "hobby" and unlike many previously discarded hobbies, this is something that I truly do enjoy and for which I'm in for the duration. 

I like that it takes a degree of work between writing, tweeting, emailing, etc.  I have reaped the benefits of being able to write what I choose and I've even developed connections and even friendships with people throughout the U.S. and even the world. 

I no longer feel as though I am confined to the mommyhood bubble of my life which is why I started blogging.  After my second daughter was born, I felt like I was in a rut.  I felt cut off and isolated.   Blame it on hormones, blame it on lack of sleep, blame it on needing something to myself but this is why I started blogging.  When I was up with Madison in the wee hours of the morning, I turned to blogging. 

I got a glimpse of other people's lives and I found I enjoyed writing about mine. 

A few people I know have started blogging but most leave it by the wayside after a few posts not understanding what all the fuss is about and wondering where are all their readers.  Why isn't everyone flocking to read the golden words that they have written. 

Are you open about the fact that you blog?  Are your family and friends supportive of your blogging?


Jennifer said...

I haven't really encountered that kind of backlash to my blogging (at least to my face!) ;) Sorry that you experienced it. My friends and family have been supportive, and it's been a great outlet for me. I can definitely relate to the reasons you do it. I like to have some people read what I write, but I think I would do it anyway, even if no one was's a lot more fun that just writing in my diary.

Mindy said...

You know, it really depends on the person I'm talking with. My husband is enormously supportive (for which I am so grateful). He sees it as a way to practice writing daily and sees how much I enjoy writing my blog and being a part of the blogging world. My moms is very cool about it as well. But I definitely have friends who do an eye roll when my blog comes up and an IRL friend who told me recently in anger that she groans when she sees a cloth diaper post - she only started reading my blog so we'd have something to talk about when we first met. Ouch. And other people have told me they'd never put such personal info online like that. But that's ok. It's my thing and I love it! I agree with Jennifer - I love comments and connecting with readers, but I loved it when I had 2 readers too!

Liz said...

I feel so bad that you cried! How awful! I'm sorry you can't be more open about it.

For me, blogging was a way to use my brain while busy being a SAHM, so I totally get the love for something outside of the realm of mommyhood.

Camille said...

Interesting post! I hopped over from *Losing Michelle* to "meet" you. :)

Hmmm...I don't talk about it too much. It's *out there* with family and friends, and its been fun to meet many bloggers who are delightful and have lovely things to say. Sometimes I find myself challenged or stretched through another's writing. I write because I enjoy it and it's a bonus if anyone reads. :)

Many blessings to you!

Joy@TPMG said...

Ladies,I totally agree. My reasons for doing it haven't changed since I started and I love just having a place to write. I don't want to make it sound like I have no support because I do. I have several close friends who have been very supportive (and my husband) but I have found that people who are not understanding of social media to be very vocal about it.

I think I was being overly sensitive to the conversation that took place that day. I think I just assumed that everyone would just understand it but I do understand that people have personal feelings in regards to social media in general.

parenting ad absurdum said...

I am open about it, and my friends are supportive, and family is, on the whole... though my mom doesn't get it. Keep in mind people say all sorts of disparaging things about just about everything - novels, newspaper articles, films, art - do what you do, do it well (which you do), and don't mind those that want to trash talk, lady!!

jenn said...

ha, I'm totally open and when I'm meeting new people I always get 'what do YOU have to write about' as in what could I possibly say that would have any significance! I love blogging, I too felt extremely isolated after my second child was born and this has become a whole new outlet for me.

blueviolet said...

I am so sorry that you were so hurt by that. Usually people who say things like that are ignorant of what it's really like in the blog world.

My family used to read my blog and I hated it. Now they don't and I feel so much better. :)

Ms Bibi said...

I am so sorry you had such a bad experience especially with people you respected.

I am very shy person so blogging for me is a way to have my voice and my opinions heard.I think I have lots to share and this is my way.

I am very open about being a blogger. I don't bring up the subject (shyness here), but when people ask or there is a conversation I am happy to talk about my blogs and pass out business cards.

My immediate family and my BFF are very supportive. The rest of my family including my sister and parents couldn't care less and never read anything I wrote which is fine with me.

More and more of my friends are reading my blogs here and there.Most of them are WAHMs without blogs.

Debbie said...

Only my immediate family knows. My husband is very supportive and tells me all the time how talented I am. (I married well!) I'd rather no one else in real life know because I don't think I could handle a situation like you were put in. And I'm sorry it happened to you.

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