Recently my mother-in-law offered to watch both of my daughters so I could get some things done around the house.
I of course jumped at the chance after a few twinges of guilt. Do you ever feel guilty about needing an extra hand occasionally? I guess I have a Supermom complex.
At a picnic we once had when our oldest was only one, someone had asked me caustically, "so what DO you do all day?"
She was a mom herself. Of course it had been awhile since her daughter was little. I remember being taken back by that question since I could account for every minute of my day.
It took me over a minute to respond since I was reeling with shock at the woman's tone. Also, considering many of the women in my neighborhood are stay-at-home moms.
I have a to-do list that will keep me busy until 2020.
The day my mother-in-law watched the girls:
As I folded laundry downstairs, I could have sworn I heard the youngest crying.
Not possible since she wasn't home.
Then, I thought I heard Emily playing in the living room.
Not possible since she wasn't home.
It turned out it was the cat playing with one of Emily's stray lego blocks. Normally, our cat hides in the family room away from the girls. Smart cat.
Then, I thought I heard my daughter's kids music CD playing. I hadn't even had the tv on.
Not possible since Emily wasn't home to switch the CD player on.
It turns out it was my husband's computer game that he never switched off.
I even went to the grocery store and almost got one of those gigantic, unwieldy car carts. I stopped myself, thank goodness. Boy, would that have been a sight...
A grown woman sans kids walking through the grocery store with a car cart would probably have gained some attention.
Even when the girls weren't there, they obviously were still on my mind. Maybe next time will be easier. I can only hope so.
By the way, forget the Mommy guilt. I couldn't believe how much stuff I was able to get done. I had forgotten how much I could get done when I could work uninterrupted. No toy, potty, or snack breaks for the little ones.
Do you ever hear things when your children are not around?
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14 comments:
Your kids are ghosting you. It's true. We get so used to hearing them and reacting to things they do!
I don't hear things but boy does the mommy guilt pile up fast! Sometimes, I even turn down the help for fear I may miss one millisecond of what goes on with Little Bit. I know, I know, I have to get better at this...
Yes, absolutely. I also hear those phantom baby cries at night when it's stormy or my kid is sick and I'm feeling "extra alert."
I remember being in the hospital after having Adam. The nurse mandated that I sit in the whirpool, and while I was in there, I kept thinking I heard Adam crying over the white noise of the jets. He, of course, was safe and happy with my husband AND my mom, but already, a day after becoming a mom, I was changed forever.
Now, Adam goes to daycare one day a week, and I so look forward to that day!!!
I used to hear things, but since my boys are both in school full time now I got used to being home alone during the day.
Btw, I still have so much to do even with them being away.The work of mom never ends.
I hear everything I don't hear when my kids are around, LOL.
I need a day to just get everything done, no kids, too. Can I borrow your MIL?
Oh my oh my! YESSSSSSSSSS.
Right now, I am home on maternity leave. I also have a five and two year old. They attend their daycare/summer camp 3 days of the week while I'm at home, and stay home the other two. I'm starting my third week home and I'm still as confused as I was the first week. I have a lot of free time while the two older ones are away, but I've yet to get motivated to get extra things done. I really need to. I need your motivation, but I keep jumping up thinking I heard something....did the two year old fall out of bed during nap? Nope. He's not back there. Is the five year old out back bouncing his basketball? Nope. He's at camp. Because of THESE interruptions, I have gotten nothing done all day but spider solitaire and blogging.
:) Happy Monday to me.
I'm popping over from SITS to ramble in your comments box. :)
That used to happen to me all the time. I know just what you mean with the mom guilt. My parents live a couple of hours away and once a year (spring cleaning time) my mom would keep my girls for 2 nights. I have to say it was a good 3 days of cleaning and quiet.
When I am so blessed to go without them, I am constantly looking for them.
I don't know how you didn't slap that woman. Of course you could have gone all sarcastic and said, leave the baby in the crib while me and my lover have "together time" Sheesh!
I will sometimes wake completely up in the middle of the night 100% positive that someone is crying. Only to rush to their bedrooms and see that everyone is asleep. HATE when I do that!!!
I'm not used to the quiet. It sort of freaks me out.
The question of what you do all day is irritating. What don't we moms do?
Since I always feel like I need eyes in the back of my head with the baby and my 2 1/2 year old that I think I am just hyper sensitive to every little noise.
The woman who said it was usually a very nice woman but I think sometimes people forget what it is like to have young kids.
Lovely post. When my daughter went to preschool for the first time last fall the house seemed deathly quiet. I was reduced to baking all morning to take my mind off it. If I go to the grocery store on my own I find myself reaching for the wipes and cleaning the pull down section at the front before finally realizing it isn't necessary as there is no one to put in it. They are always on our minds and when little and with us occupy our entire day. But I wouldn't have it any other way and will miss these times so very much when she grows older.
I totally hear things!!! Like right now they are both at MDO for a few hours and I keep hearing things falling and moving. I keep thinking it's them playing, but of course it's not. And the mom guilt!! Yes, I participate in that time share, big time!! I wish I wouldn't go there, but I can't help myself. I don't know why we all feel the need to be supermom, cuz it's really just a crazy dream completely unrelated to reality. Great post!!!
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