Monday, March 1, 2010

Mommy Olympics

If being a mommy was an Olympic sport, in what event would you get the gold?

Aquatics
How quickly can you get the children bathed?  Singing "Rub-a dub-dub" and "Splish-Splash" at ear piercing levels while doing your best to NOT get doused with the water splashing out of the bathtub as your children see who can make the water splash the farthest.  Maybe you are one who must bather her toddler as he or she tries to swim to China.  The Olympic-size clean-up that ensues usually takes longer than the actual bathing.

Boxing
The verbal boxing between you and your husband on who is taking the kids to school this morning or putting the kids to bed tonight.  Maybe the verbal boxing is over who is getting that last cup of coffee in the morning (actually this is usually more of a track event since it depends on who can run to the coffeepot first) or parenting styles. 

Fencing
Mommies erect invisible fencing around their children.  Woe be the person who oversteps their bounds within that area.  The pit bulls (aka. moms) will be on you in no time using their words like fencing swords.  Be warned.

Gymnastics
Moms are able to hold squirming infants, make sandwiches, and make bottles with the best of them.  They are multi-taskers who are able to move and bend to complete whatever task needs accomplishing-like using their feet to close their dryer door, one arm holding an overflowing laundary basket, and the other arm swooping to steer the baby from the masses of lint that litter the floor or the cat's litter box in the corner.

Downhill Skiing 
Racing downhill, moms avoid immovable objects and maneuver their family around obstacles, keeping everyone on course.  They try to keep the family down their chosen path and try to avoid or use the ruts to their best advantage.

Weightlifting
Mom muscles in the arms develop from carrying babies, purses, diaper bags, and all other baby paraphernalia on shopping excursions (not to mention all of your purchases).  They also develop said muscles from heaving heavy, awkward strollers from trunks.  Also, instead of weights, moms lift their children's mountains of laundry and toys and they do exercises involving the repititious lifting of little ones, again and again and again (all while using perfect posture).

Hurdles
No one moves faster than a mom when her child is screaming and crying in another room.  Leaping over baby gates, toys, and any other obstacles in her path she races to the finish line (her child) in record time.

Curling
All moms have mommy tales that would "curl" your hair.  Whether they relate to the scary misadventures of their children, exploding diapers, or the inedible objects that their child somehow found edible, all moms have "curling" tales.

Skeleton
Those "skeletons" in your closet that you don't want your child to know about.   You know the ones-the ones your own parents still do not know anything about.  The things you did that your parents warned you NOT to do and that you want your children NOT to do.

11 comments:

Lourie said...

How the one person luge? Where everything comes at mom at speeds upwards of 95 mph, and yet we maintain control.

I love LOVE this!

Daisygirl said...

hmmm lets see where would I place..
I would definitely get the gold in Boxing, gloves down!

And maybe the silver in Gymnastics. Ive been known to have a great floor routine! haha!

~Jen

blueviolet said...

Skeletons, doggone it. Why'd you have to put that one in there? That's the one I'd win. :( Sheesh. LOL

Mrsblogalot said...

This was fantastic!!!

And I'm an expert curler!!! (-:

Sarah said...

What a clever post! I'm definitely a weight lifter!

Jaime said...

Love this post! I think i would definitely take the gold in gymnastics and maybe even in weightlifting. Since my boys are 14 months apart and only 1 and 2 I often have to hoist the two year old up in his seat while carrying the 20 pound 1 year old at the same time. We are in great training if the Mom Olympics were ever started. Stopping by PRP.

Jaime
http://ihaveacoupon.blogspot.com

OutnumberedMama said...

You are very clever! I found you on TPRP! I think I would be a contender in Weightlifting and Gymnastics. And I might just qualify for skeletons =(. I am following your blog! You can check mine out http://guidetosurvivingmotherhood.blogspot.com

Mrs. Addison said...

Oh this is so true! I love it!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

What a fun and creative post!! :) I think I'd be good at gymnastics. :) Thanks for the visit today!

Buckeroomama said...

This is a good one!! I think I'll have an edge in weightlifting! :)

Ivy said...

This is so cute! I would probably excel at gymnastics and skeletons, maybe downhill skiing too.

Great post!

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